Doug's Blog

Guatemala - Final Reflection

I have been back for a couple of weeks now.  My hope was that my experience in Guatemala would be theraputic since, as many of you know, I have been rather down and out lately.  Frustrations, often over work experiences, were leaving me feeling lost, useless, and often alone.  My hope was the Guatemala would change that up a bit, somehow.

I guess I was hoping that the change would be sudden, or rather, be instantaneous.  It was not.  It was brought to my attention just last week that I have had three close friends pass away in the last six months and I did the eulogy for all three of them.  On top of that my grandpa passed and I know that it has been a lot harder than I expected for me to get over that.  Combine that with joining a team that lost in the leadership race (I had never lost a race until that happened) and losing the real reason for me to be in politics as a consequence (the reason why I ran, the issue I had the most passion about, namely rural development) and I felt . . . well, lost.

It was a long session in the legislature with all of the transitioning that had to take place.  I never got to spend much time with my family, and I never got much sleep.  Add in the mix of personal stuff I cite above, and some others that I am not going to divulge, and I got way out of whack. 

Guatemala gave me the chance to do something very meaningful for some people who really appreciated it.  Not that other people don't, but sometimes it is frustrating to hear how angry people get over some things that are really quite minor when you compare those problems with those in Guatemala - no house, little food, and poor water.  My reaction to some when I got back was to be angry over their seemingly endless and often abusive language about how bad things are here.  I am not angry anymore.

We have to be vigilant to make sure that we don't fall apart.  We have to work hard, demand more . . . from ourselves . . . and appreciate what we have in friends, family and quality of life.  They can do that in Guatemala so we surely can do it here.  I am a teacher.  I am a hard worker.  I believe in our power to reach new heights.  I am a strong family man.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't know if it was Guatemala that helped, or just getting lots of sleep these last few weeks, or getting to spend time with my family, or riding my motorcycle some evenings, or a few inspirational words from people like Barb or Darryl, but I feel like a new man.  I feel new energy, I feel new life, and I feel a new sense of peace.

Sounds corny, I know.  I think it is all of those things that helped.  Anyway, I am back.  My sincere apologies to any and all who have worried about me for the last few months.  It is nice to know that friends, family and even acquaintences have been supportive and concerned.  I will be different than before.  I have new experiences that have changed me, obviously.  You won't get the same 29 year old nieve boy back.  You will get a 34 year old much more experienced, wiser, and patient man back.

Hope that is ok.

It is so good to be back.