Doug's Blog

. . . More Than What We Do . . .

You may have noticed that there was a quote on my facebook page status that said, "real fredom, real strength, real bravery comes when we realize that who we are is more than what we do."  I put that quote up there and left it for a few days because I had a personal realization that has transformed me tremendously.  This may actually be something you will laugh at and wonder to yourself, "Doug, how could you not have known that already?" That's ok with me. 

I have been an MLA for seven years this April.  I have worked very hard throughout the constituency, throughout the province, and within the Legislature of Alberta.  I came in wanting to ensure that this Province was successful for the next generation, namely my sons, and consequently all of the sons and daughters of Albertans, who are our future, and I still have that as my goal.  I have always taken the job seriously and I always will, but somewhere along the way I lost sight of myself and began to see the job as me, and me as the job.  It didn't happen overnight or all at once, it was obviously a slow progression.

The symptoms weren't so much an attitude change since I have spent all of my time as a dedicated servant of the people of my constituency and this province.  The sypmtoms were, well, a loss of me and my identity.  I tried to be everything to everyone for all things (not to get re-elected, but because I sincerely wanted to help each and every soul).  I quit writing poetry, I quit drawing, I didn't spend much time gardening, I lost track of all of my friends back home, and, well . . . I gave away all of the other things I loved and believed in besides my job to help people in the constituency and the province.  That was fine and I was fine, as long as my job was fine.

So, you know what happened . . .

Ok, here is where it gets personal so stop reading if you don't want some hard personal facts.  I was still doing well, still working hard, still trying to keep some balance, mostly because my wife told me to, until a little over 2 years ago.  All MLA's had to chose who the next Premier would be.  I chose, and I lost.  I was ok with that.  We were chosing a captain of the team and we are all still on the same team.  I was ready to support the Premier then, and I do believe in and support our Premier still.  Where the problem really came in is that I had elements of my job, avenues that I used to help Albertans, removed from me. That really hurt.  It wasn't personal, its just the nature of change in a job like this.  

It was painful to have elements that were so important to me, that I identified with my very existence, removed from my job description.  I reacted, however, as though those elements of my job were being removed from me, from my very soul.  I will admit it sent me into a tailspin, it sent me into a depression, or a funk that I had an awful time trying to get out of.  I was given new tasks and jobs after that, but I still felt like something had been . . . amputated, I suppose, and that I wasn't a complete person.  I got out of my funk after a few months, but something was still missing.  I guess I felt the bigger the job, the more important the task, the bigger my life would be, because, as I mentioned above, I was my job and my job was me.

Reading the quote that 'we are more than what we do' was an epiphany for me.  I realized, finally, that I am not my job, and it is not me.  I am more than my job.  My family, my poetry and drawing and gardening, my motorcyle rides, my philosophical discusses over a beer, my constant quest to try things new, my music, and so many other things are who I am.  My job is part of it, but not all of it.  I am more than what I do. 

Now, that doesn't mean I won't work as hard, or be as dedicated to helping people in the community, the constituency, or the province, or that I won't still strive to be the best MLA possible.  Quite the opposite is true, in fact.  I think this realization makes me a better MLA, a better man in general, and a more complete person, like I once was.  It allows me to focus on what is important, to not burn myself out, to hold on to all of the stuff that is really important and let some of the other stuff go.  I have regained my perspective, my priorities, my purpose, and my passion with a renewed sense of humility.  I will leave you with one last quote, "Our bodies are where we stay, our souls are what we are."  Its good to have mine back.

That's it.  That's all.  Hope your day goes well.  Happy New Year.